zack

2007-11-01T18:16:00.000+08:00

So here i am bck to bloggin after sumtym...jz bein bz n stuff...n amidst of tis period, lotta thingy hav i learn...n of course after tis long brk...i guess tis wld b one of ma longest post...

N especially after i hav strted to werk at ma new place. bout a mnth nw..CHARAVARTHY...n yes im nt goin to hide anymore...well ya it a nite club for INDIAN...ya so wat i hav gt ma reason fer doin so...n since i strted werkin der, i hav seen nite lyf...the kind of lyf i expected to see n especially prepared...te informality of lyf whr etiquette is nt in everyone...instead enjoyment possess evry clubber....n when ppl r drunk, thing happen...well fight which was seldom since ma boss is known as one of Singapore Boxer...i dun cre...haha...n guyz bein mushy sumtym touchin here n der...99.99% to gerl of course...i hav seen it evrytin...but tat was in general everytin tat is negative...

N here im bein positive....werkin in a club is actually excitin n im really enjoyin maself der...werkin in a lyf of full of excitement...n of course wit nice colleague...Saroj, Karan, Mus, Hana, Yana, Maya(whu had jz left), Satria n Jai(Bartender) n seem tat many more waitress to cum(well yesterday 2 malay gerl came fer an interview)...nt onli tat might include GRO...so lyf must b great huh...haha....n of course ma Manager Devi, Roy n Eric....

Well colleague is one...excitement is another...when i first strted werkin b4 Hari Raya...gt to see a pole dancer...well sumhw hot...bt doesnt melt me..haha...well need more then tat...amidst of the dancing....suddenly i felt sad...ma own local malay doin tat...i suddenly felt sinful...

Bt nw those feelin r gone...i hav t used to tat..y??? Coz i hav mentally expected...n slowly till nw lyf is great...werkin der is very relaxin...no restriction...(earrin, hair dyed, unbutton shirt or u can even drink wit customer)...

N jz yesterday der Halloween night-cum-ladies night...the band singer wore mask n stuff n fortunately ma boss came late or else all staff hav to dress in Halloween costume...wee~

K im nt goin to go on n on cuz der no end to tis...endless fun n more to cum...n especially Deepavali n stuff...so u must b tinkin tat i hav change..bt nw im goin to explain..tit for tat...cuz i noe a lot of u peeps hav been askin hw much i hav change...n YYY???

1st of all im doin tis fer a reason...i wanna c the real lyf...night lyf is the reality...but tat nt the main reason..i nd to werk full tym to pay fer ma fees...n tis is sumhw one of the onli way...since ma schlin tym is from 10am-5pm...i cldnt werk full tym elsewhr...y??? Werkin hr evrywhr is from 7am-3pm, 3pm-11pm or 11pm-7am...so guyz do u c ma dilemma...n besides tat werkin part tym wunt get me elsewhr...der a lotta of wan tat i nd to bring out...motor license n especially to enrol in either Piano or Keyboard soon...goin to discuss wit Mr Delfi(1 of the teacher being recommend by Miss Celine a Head of a Cultural Club in Republic Polytechnic) sumtym in mid Dec...n of course no obligation..n if any of u wanna noe..tat is part of ma drmz n im headin towards tat...

But of course thing aren't goin easy...werkin 6 days a wk from 8pm -3am n sumtym gt sch in the murnin...bt i noe im goin to sacrifice a lotta of thing n especially ma slp...cuz it ma LUXURY ryte nw rather than a need...

N besides tat...i dun smoke n drink...most of u knew tat n b4 i strted werkin in Chakravarthy, i promise i wld nvr even strted...even if the customer offer me...i jz wanna prove tat i hav self control n doesnt mean werkin der im lvl wit all the clubber...n yesterday, one of the bouncer Aravin asked me whether i smoke or drink jz to confirm...i say i dun...n whether i hav a gf...i deny...well he was shocked....nt onli him almost all the staff der...n he said 1 thing tat make me proud of maself..."U're too good to be true"...well haha...but of course sayin n restrictin maself is another thing....

Yesterday one of the customer offered me a drink...Chivas...n of i course i denied...hey it nt easy the way Brotherhood comfort u...it hard to resist but it nutin to me...i jz said i drink coke n im jz said to him to cheers wit ma Coke in hand...simple huh well of course when ma mind hav decided on sumtin...nt onli tat a lot of customer offered me drink...Bombay Sapphire Chivas n etc...n of course u noe wat i did...to any customer rich or poor i dun cre...even to Mr Jack Ring(all fingers decorated wit gold ring) which hav spent bout $900 tat nite...

So guyz i hav explain all...im bein maself nutin wld b able to change me...n of course im proud to hav learn a lot of thing n even cashierin...n includin tis i shld say tat i hav werk in 4 diff type of F&B...Pizza Hut(fastfood), Beach Cabana(outdoor alfresco), Carlton Hotel(Buffet Style) n now Chakravarthy(Music Lounge or sumhw a nite club)...n i noe der sumtin missin which is fine dining or banquet in hotel...tat might b ma nxt target or better still im doin tat fer attachment...n even if so, tat will b ma nxt challenges n i noe im ready fer it...

N besides tat, im gonna werk bck in Carlton tis Sat....n excited to c all the other colleague...wat more might b goin dinner in a wk tym wit sumone..haha..well ok jz a friend...bt wat excite me nw is tat I hav gt a new fam member...a gerl n it hav change me sumhw by lurin me to get bck early everytym...

So i noe tis is one if ma longest post...but tis hav been happenin after sumtym...in fact der more bt cum on i nd nt put tat dwn...

Bt f course i noe im nt gonna stop from bein a singer n i hav seen a positive sign..after i hav discover tat i am able to pull through a certain note...almost to b honest...bt tat nt the point...I HAVE DISCOVERED SUMTIN BOUT SINGIN TECHNIQUE...wish me guy!!!

2007-09-30T02:06:00.000+08:00

As usual the same old hectic borin schedule of goin to werk n bck home...isnt lyf tat borin???But at least when music cum into the picture nw tat interestin...so confuse huh wat im talkin bout...

So it goes lyk tis...durin the werk tym...i did talk to Tiffany well the one which oqaeyz werk durin dinner(coz ders 2 Tiffany)...so we were talkin bout makin our own music..interestin huh...n oso to Alan one of the room service guy who can play saxophone n percussion...so im realli gettin excited fer tat...well at least we did talk jz fer fun 1st...but whu noe we can perform at HOTEL LOUNGES(it had been a drmz fer me n Tiffany to sing der)...so let jz see w/o hopin yet...

2007-09-29T13:51:00.000+08:00

The past 2 days hav been the day i spent most of ma tym wit ma Carlton Colleague...on thurs did went to Costa Sand Resort Chalet n meet Jasmine n Tiff der..didnt expect the rest were nt...

Then rite after werk yesterday...the 4 of us...well u guyz wunt noe who...we went to OCH!!!..well it ma 2nd tym n ya i didnt c anytin though Dinesh n Jacintha saw sumtin...so we will b goin again n tis tym will b exploru uyhe mortuary...which most of the public do nt noe whr..

Besides tat, most probab;y i will b quitin from Carlton soon..y??? I hav gt ma reason...u guyz will noe soon...

2007-09-23T02:53:00.000+08:00

So finally i hav gt tat courage bck in werkin...after todae i felt tat everytin is as per normal..a bit bz n stuff bt everytin is fine nw...

Besides tat i hav oso fixed bck ma old specs...so it will b easier fer me rather than squintin ma eyes n look lyka nnerd maybe???

So tat done...bt still sumtin botherin me...in been quite sumtin since i did a research islandwide to find any malay karaoke contest bt to no avail...yes im goin to compete bt in the CC lvl first.. bt hw to when i cldnt find any contest...

Well y am i interested suddenly??? It jz to noe whr i stnd b4 enterin fer ANUGERAH nxt yr...wish me luck guys!!!

2007-09-22T01:32:00.000+08:00

Im jz in no mood to say anytin...after wat i did over again n again...but i nd to speak up...n here i am feelin useless...

Jz a few day bck i made a customer angry...n todae it even worse..but im nt goin to say anymore..bt of course it ma mistake...jz the the stupidest mistake ever...jz so stupid!!! But tis thing happen...y??? Coz i was did nt bother to ask...im jz so paisey...n besides tat der r so many thing tat goes wrong...

But tat nt the point...wat matter most is all of ma fwen was oso blame n tat wat bother me...i dun ind gettin reprimanded upside dwn..bt jz becoz of ma dumb mistake, they were affected...u noe hw it felt??? No guyz u dun...

N nw seriously i jz felt so useless...i wanna run away to anywhr from evrytin if i cld...n to all ma fwen im realli sorri...it jz so dumb n stupid of me...i noe tat i hav to bark up n i realli hav to...but if u ask me ryte nw, no wunt i jz wanna run away...the kind of feelin whr i hope when i slp i nvr wake up...well if i hav the chance...

2007-09-20T00:27:00.000+08:00

Thing seriously hasnt gone too well fer me...of course it part of ma fault...but tat nt the point it is y u drive me to do a certain thing...

Like todae...i was suppose to turn up fer werk in the murnin but i didnt...i was a bit late so i guess it wunt b nice...but the real cause was der tis feelin tat hinder me from goin to werk...the usual excitement in me...its all gone at the moment...

Then todae did overspent on entertainment though i noe it was fer ma fee n gt no idea hw to compensate...aargh!!!

N lastly on ma way bck, i tot of werkin in the murnin to compensate on ma losses....n instead gt a scoldin from ma boss fer ma absent todae...so hw do u tink i can go bck to werk tmr...but i hav to...

2007-09-18T02:01:00.000+08:00

Todae i gt to werk fer brkfast fer the first tym...well n esp gt to noe Jasmine...n even mistook her fer Tiffany...they jz look alike from the bck...haha

Well bout 3pm after werk n...chillz wit dem fer awhile b4 goin fer bowling maself...jz wanna kill tym b4 goin bck to werk at 6pm...

N jz as i tot everytin was goin to b ok...it was a disaster...i jz lose focuz n ended up making one of the customer very angry...jz dun wanna go on tokin bout it...bt wat i can say...is jz tat at tat point ma mind was elsewhere...it was nt me...i was tinkin sumtin else..bt i hav to admit tat i was in a wrong...bt hw to be professional when i hav a lot of worry to maself???..n ryte nw let it b a secret...

2007-09-11T23:53:00.000+08:00

So skip sch todae n gt n MC...hmm...aargh!!!ordy gt an MC fer a new semester..well wat done is done...

So tmr murnin will b lookin ferward to learn cookin wit ma aunt...lyk wat i told ma mum tat i will b cookin fer Hari Raya Open Hse tis yr...well jz most probably...so tat y i hav to get strted...

N besides tat, lookin ferward fer Puasa...2 DAYS COUNTDOWN....

2007-09-10T01:27:00.000+08:00

So todae...at werk...i dinint fell again...haha..bt evrytin seem 2 b oryte...well fer nw...a scoldin is normal...

So hav cancelled tonyte cyling trip...so at least can hav a bit of rest for tmr...so i guess tat all folk...wana watch sum song video tat aspire me...haha

2007-09-09T01:40:00.000+08:00

Wat can i say bout todae...or rather yesterday since it ordi 1:38am in da murnin...kinda sarcastic ryte???

Niwae wake up at 9:30am to hav a gd badminton game wit ma uncle n bro fer 2 hr at Hong Kah North CC...seriously jz goin through sum cramped after 10min of spa...so cldnt smash as usual...

Then gt bck bout 2pm n was rusjin to go to werk...was late quite a bit though i even took a cab...*watever*..haha...still was able to concentrate on werk...then sumtin unexpected happened to me...

I was carryin a tray full of empty side plates bck to the kitchen...n ryte as i stepped toward the sink, i felt slipped n fell on ma bck wit the rest of the stuff onto me...im nt tat sure whthr anytin brk...i guess mayb 1 or 2...bt tat tym...i told maself...tis gonna b it...but not really...evryone was so kind n i appreciate them a lot...n after tat...i hav to act y??? Coz im embarassed...haha...so it over ryte???Ok thing as per normal...but NO!!! 1 of the chef called me...n u noe sumtin...part of ma shirt torn...i was really fed up a bit but i kept inside....so ya i change ma shirt n everytin was fine after tat...did learned a lot todae...

I even gt to talk to the malay brother which was performin in the hotel lounge...n i kept askin question of hw he gt the opportunity n stuff lyk tat...was jz carried on...y??? Becoz i hav owaes wanted to perform in a hotel...quite unfortunate ryte fer me...

Besides tat i oso made 1 discoveries when i reashed home from wek...it it really made ma upcomin day very...jz dunnoe hw to describe....I LOST 1 OFMA BANGLES....AARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well it jz meant a lot to me since it was given by ma fwen....well i luv it so much...n it cost bout $60-$70...well gt no choice....

N bout tmr...will strt werk from 3-11pm n will rush to ECP fer overnyte cycling...n will rush bck to sch the followin day..quite lucky it strt at 1pm...so pheww quite a long post todae...n at least it over...i mean ma post...

2007-09-02T22:55:00.000+08:00

Jz gt bck from werkin as KENDARAT...pheww...then get bck home n rite to Kak Lin new hse...jz opposite ma block to giv all the uniform bck...bt todae post is nt bout tat..it more bout yesterday...

After sum long tym, finally get out wit ma click..jz hav sum fine talk n round the town...n amidst of tat...1 of ma bestie Luqman ask me a question...."Do u compose songs"...well i hav yet answer the question...

N im exposin in tis post...y??? Becoz i wanna evryone to noe tat composing song is an art...it involve a lot of factors which i do nt wanna discuss...of course im nt an expert...in fact i nvr hav ma own songs...nt tat i do nt wanna bt becoz im still searchin fer tat missing substance to ma songs...i do nt wanna ma song to b any other songs...i wanna ma song to hav a identity.,.a song tat i noe wld ba hits in anywhr...n ryte nw...i do nt c tat kind of "FEEL" yet....n if i nvr been able to get tat substance or rather, "ILHAM", i wld nt wanna to compose any songs yet..nt at the moment...

2007-08-26T23:11:00.000+08:00

Realli tired nw...jz gt bck from Gombak Sport Hall playin badminton...after almost 6mnth nvr step into a court...well still b able to smashed but nt as sharp as last tym...

It jz remind me of ma tym in secondary sch...the tym whr i climb from scratch n even emerged as the captain...the tym when i finally gt gold fer the sport day fer ma hse team...n the tym when even sum of the badminton player do nt even wanna step sourt wit me...but all tat is jz within the sch...n even in the past...ryte nw...i realised a tat ma performance hav dropped...but i dun realli care as i hav expected so...y???

The moment when i step in ma poly lyf n join guitar club...i realised tat everytin was different...though i might win a lot of matches in badminton(well within the sch onli), im felt lonely...unlike soccer whr we can share the joy together...

N when i strted ma guitar club...i felt the important of every section...evryone play a major role in the perfection of music...n again thise moment r gone...n nw im jz concentrate on ma studies...ma future career...

But i noe i was wrong...i cant live without music...n nw i even hav the wish of strting to learn a new musical instrument...THE FLUTE...but i do not noe if tis wish will continue...

2007-08-23T22:02:00.000+08:00

Todae went to 2 places....1st of all Carlton Hotel after receiving call yesterday...n finally gt a job der...so will b resignin from Beach Cabana...

Then head wit ma dad n mum to Ngee Ann Poly to fetch ma fwen becoz they nd help to transport umpire chair from NUS...so will b helpin them again nxt wk...

N nw wat make me happie the most is tat i hav finally been able to play "LOVE STORY" well a simple version though...still being able to play the song tat i wan fer long...it seem tat evrytin else doesnt matter...n nw im headin toward learning the nxt luv song titled, ROMEO N JULIET(A Time For Us)

2007-08-20T18:59:00.000+08:00

So far evrytin hav been the same fer me...jz sum slight changes n wun b goin to discuss more on tat...

Wat new is tat i hav jz attend an interview at Marina Mandarin fer a part-time waiter post...n as usual hav to wait fer called n stuff...N besides tat will be lookin ferward fer the cls Sentosa trip n 8 Dearest...so i hav gt 2 enjoyable day ahead!! Yeah!!!

N besides tat, mayb will b goin fer a wakeboardin wit sum of the Cabana guyz...well most likely it ON!!!

2007-08-11T12:51:00.000+08:00

Seriously jz gt bck from Chalet at E.coast...so damn tired...wat more nd to get bck to werk ltr aargh!!!

Well did hav fun but ya im really feelin bad for havin ma cuzzie fwen to wait fer me...jz didnt intend to ask them to wait...but will make up to u guyz nxt wk..

So jz dun wanna talk much..nd to get ma laundry done...cao~

2007-08-06T00:27:00.000+08:00

Todae fishin nw was fun...esp wit ma family...though i was interested at 1st bt decided nt to join in the fun...but jz wanna watch...it will b much more fun...but im nt talkin bout tis is ma post..but sumtin else...

Todae at the jetty...ma mum did say tat it will b fun if we hav a hse in the middle of the sea....n i jz jokingly said tat i will buy 1 fer her...n even asked which lvl she wan...of course anyone wld laugh at me...

But no one noes tat i hav made a promise to maself to buy a hse tat she wan...n im takin it very seriously...i jz wanna giv her a gd lyf...i noe sumday i will fulfilled dem...N I NVR BRK MA PROMISE...EVEN TO MASELF....

2007-08-05T02:11:00.000+08:00

Jz gt bck from werk bout an hr ago...everytin seem fine...esp when i heed one of the customer advice yesterday...i jz hav to be more relaxed...i realised tat it werk...im more focused n ya everytin seem better nw...

So hav notin much to update..it jz tat will be goin to fishin tmr wit ma family n ya will b havin chalet nxt wk...YEAH!!!

N besides tat jz wanna focus on ma project...hav been doin dem since yesterday...dun wanna happened again though i noe i hav done ma part...

2007-08-04T04:52:00.000+08:00

Evrytin seem to go downhill fer me...esp durin werkin jz nw...i really did a lot of mistake...though most of the supervisor r fine wit it...im jz so tense...jz dunnoe y i lost focus suddenly...evrytin jz doesnt seem ryte...

N especially when one of the customer said tat our service is bad jz becoz he had to reserve becoz we r packed...i jz told ma supervisor tat i felt tat punchin tat guy...if nt fer ma werk ettquette...he wld b gone...

But of course i noe i cld owaeyz tink over it...i noe tat i shld bark up...i noe tat ma mistake usually is the procedure n nt focus enough...notin to do wit the relation wit the customer...In fact the past few day the customer praise me tat ma service is TIP-TOP...n jz nw...2 customer praise me n even gave me $10 tip for ma service...

So i noe i jz hav to bark up...i jz hav to...

2007-07-28T13:08:00.000+08:00

Finally im bck to blogging again...n to the 8 dearest thnkz u soo much fer makin ma day...didnt expect tat u guyz wld celebrate ma bdae as well...

Well last Monday as plan...i did rush home from sch b4 goin to bck to RP to celebrate Angus bdae...one of the best guitarist in ma club...well did rush n even took a cab...jz dun wanna spoil the plan tat we had initially...

Then meet the rest n ya we did everytin as planned bringin Angus to the TRCC....so as i tot everytin goin to b well n jz excited...but when all of them strted to sing bdae song n even mention ma name...i was jz startled...didnt expect tat it wld b a double surprise...nw then i noe y Serra wanted to buy the cake...

Till nw...the memories of tat day remain...i do hope to meet u guyz owaeyz...Thnkz U SOO MUCH 8 DEAREST!!!

I hope tis photos show it all...(Too many photos to upload)

2007-07-15T20:05:00.000+08:00

Todae is one of the most memorable day fer me...i met Caroline...no fer the Ex-GRSS it nt the Indonesian Caroline tat i used to disturbed..or the Caroline which most of u accuse of us havin affair...She one of the Pro bowler tat i met todae at Jurong SuperBowl...

Well fer me as a newbie...i jz wana play normally wit ma uncle...n wat matter most is the speed tat giv me the andrenalin rush...sumhw ma sight wld once awhile divert to a lady jz besides ma lane...the way she play i noe she is gd...damn gd i mean...her grace n technic really attracted me...

So when she praise me fer ma speed...but if onli ma accuracy was gd....it wld hav been a strike...so then she went on n tat hw i strted to learn from her n found out tat she hav been playin since 1995...

Tat doesnt surprise me at all..but wat matter the most is tat i was thought by a lady whom hav join Bowling Competition n is in the League...damn it im really lucky...not onli tat she even hav a personal best of 298!!! I really felt tat tis is fate...im jz so lucky...
'
Then on the way bck i did discuss wit ma uncle tat im quite embarassed tat she spot ma mistake...but ma uncle told me tat it fer ma own gd...a person as gd as her wont teach sumone whu dun hav the potential or whom jz dun wan to learn...then lookin bck i rmb she did say sumtin.."I dun wan to teach sumone who jz play for fun and kaugh all the way"...

So guyz i noe i gt sumtin here..n im gona strt to b serious in Bowling...jz giv me 1 yr....

2007-06-28T18:29:00.000+08:00

Guyz out der im finally 18!!! Yeah able to take license soon...haha

K lah jz wanna keep tis post short....thnkz fer all the bdae wishes from all of u guyz...from everyone though i dun really cre bout ma own bdae...haha..

So tat gonna b all...thnkz again...

2007-06-26T16:02:00.000+08:00

Nw evrytin i jz felt is onli pain,pain n notin but pain...1st of all when noeing tat fai dad gt into a bad accident...it really made me sad seeing 1 one of ma close fwen in tat state...

Nxt when gettin to noe tat she ordy gt sumone else in a sudden...jz so shocked...anger n disappointment struck me...bt jz wanna hear from her personally if tat the truth...n if tat the truth...im jz lost...stil findin ma way...

2007-06-22T17:42:00.000+08:00

Im bck...bt wit a big burden...

1st of all dunoe hw to cope wit ma studies....becoz of werk commitment i cld nt even concentrate on ma studies...jz nw when doin exam...i really cldnt do...bout 90% though...im jz prepared fer a retake...dun noe hw long it gonna b lyk tis...i noe i wld nvr do well if tis continue...bt i jz gt tis job...

Sometym durin werkin....im jz too tired...lucky ma partner is so understandable...nt tat i slp durin ma werk tym...but even slp when moppin the floor...haha she even do sum werk fer me...thnkz u..

But i noe i cant continue lyk tis...but wat can do...i jz think tat i wld b more active tat the way...but ryte nw nt quittin ma job..

N ma studies...i noe i will hav no tym to study...will jz concentrate more in cls..

N finally bout ma slp...wld jz continue as usual fer ma slpin tym...usually in the bus n durin ma werkin tym...so jz gotta hang on fer nw...

2007-06-11T18:57:00.000+08:00

So nw wld b bz so wont b updatin too often...i jz wonder hw im gonna handle both werk n studies...well will c hw...if nt fer money...

Then ya...bout ma luv lyf...some of u kp askin me...well i dun noe...yup i did hav crush here n der...n even "Sound" fer a relationship...it nt a question of whether dey wanna me or nt...bt y im doin tat...

Since i "Sound" HER, i keep tellin myself...am i fer real...i jz noe her...or was i jz tryin to force maself to strt a new lyf n ferget of wat i drmz once...waitin fer tat one affection...which i might called ma first one sided luv...but tat was soo long ago...still nw n den...it remind me...n ya im jz fortunate tat U didnt agree to hav tat relationship yet...frankly nw i jz wanna confess tat i dun even noe wat im doin...whr i wanna go...am i serious or jz fer fun...wat i noe is ryte nw i dun wanna hurt u...

So ya im lucky tat u jz wanna b fwen first...y??? Becoz tat day i might nt b in ma mind...i dun even noe wat im sayin to u...it might b im tryin to ferget ma past...so let remain stagnat fer nw n tym decide...

2007-06-06T17:17:00.000+08:00

So finally i gt a job!!! Well at least after bout a wk or 2...i dun really care bout the job...cleanin hotel area at nite...gt no choice hav to settle ma fees...

So will b strtin tmr at Swissotel...n bout salary...ya quite low $800...bt again no choice...fer ma fees...haha...so tat all guyz...

2007-06-03T17:28:00.001+08:00

Jz as i tot everytin goes as plan...der sure sometin which seem nt rite...

I tot im able to delay ma sch fees tot tis mnth becoz i do nd the money...bt then suddenly i hav been suspended from werk...jz becoz dey wanna cut coz...WTF!!! nw im really in a rush in searchin a new job...wat more in nd to pay ma fees...well bout $800...goin to pay on tis comin 8th...n fer the 23rd...i really do nt noe...

So will be lookin ferward fer the SENTOSA outin tis thurs wit ma clsmate....then hopeful haney u bleh make it n meet me at SENTOSA esp after ur exam...u nak naek cable car kan...yes i will bring u...haha...

So ya i guess tat all guyz for the update...specially fer u haney...u asked me fer the update...haha

2007-05-30T10:54:00.000+08:00

Last fri I got ma first result, Business Com….ya I did passed well unexpectated get more than wat I wanna at first…still…congrat to maself…haha…

Then head to Vivo City to meet haney n her fwen…haney u were playin the hula hoop n stop rite when I came…must b embarrass…but it ok I did c u playin…quite gd tau…n of coz getting maself embarrass to as u ask me to…but at least no one see..

N ya did head to Starbuck fer a while then watch movie…then in der…I strted to talk personal n b4 im gonna say what I hav been keeping…the movie strted…damn f*^k…nvm at least the movie was funny…

So we do hav fun at the swimming pool…well haney u say u wanna play wit water...haha...if onli u had brought extra clothin, then I will made u wet…jz dun hav the heart at tat tym..

So u pandai eh main pool...u can teach me lah...haha...ya we did play pool till nite...till u exceed ur curfew tym…sory eh did nt expect tat…so I dun noe hw u handle ur mum lecture lyk wat u told me...still I hope u had a gd tym wit me...

So tat nite I did msg u of wat I wanna say...n ya u will tell me in a wk to come...so I will b here waitin...n tis 1 wk gonna b lyk hell to me...

Still one thing I can promise u...I wont disappoint u in anyway lyk wat ur fear used to b...I will do anytin jz to please u...I ikhlas haney...whatever it is...im nt forcing...n I will accpt any decision...im used to it...

2007-05-22T23:04:00.000+08:00

So todae...i jz wanna tok bout ma clsmate...someone whu i owaeyz confide n disturb...

Haha i noe u goin to read tis SARINAH...well it ok im doin tis on purpose...actually tis postin is to tell u wat i cant in person haha...

Well ya actually i wana thnkz u a lot fer helpin in ma studies n esp personal prob....yeah u hav been a grt help...esp ryte nw when i do nt really hav someone tat i can tok to...n Bella, im nt askin fer symphathy n oso i wld try to say anytin personal...bt sometym i jz cant hide...

So ya thnkz a lot..n rmb...FWEN FOREVER!!!!THNKZ U!!!!

2007-05-21T00:38:00.001+08:00

Jz gt bck from the fuckin werk...aargh!!! feel lyk givin up sometym...bt nd to pay fer ma fees...wat more i hav delayed ma fees....jz so stress...

However, im nt discourage...especially when i gt to noe tis gerl...from ma fwen...well at first when i saw her photos carryin Aqasha, ma heart stop...She jz so sweet....wat more, her hair is damn long...she jz someone whom im searchin all the while...she hav everytin tat i nd...someone very decent...someone so sweet...ya u guyz out der wld compare wit all the guyz out der...bt nt me...im sincere...

N ya wld b lookin ferward in seeing U...till then..im still at ma Lala Land...n i wld continue as long she is still available...bt i noe whr i stnd...no look n no money...wld she even look at me??? I dunnoe i jz hope so...or it wld b the same old heartache??? im prepared....to lose again…

2007-05-14T23:23:00.000+08:00

Today housekeepin session at Orchid Country Club was realli a gd experience fer me...wat more im able to even clean the VIP room yeah!!! Well they called it the suite room...realli cld nt imagine hw big it was wit a small kithenette...

Then gt to learn a lot in cleaning the room especially the way to tidy up the bed...it was a useful tips for actually...so will be lookin ferward to the real challenge tmr fer the practical exam...

But wat struck me most was nt bout tat...Sarina actually remember ma upcomin burfdae....n even ask wat i wan...haha...so cute of u...but no..it mater no more to me lyk it used to be....

Im jz reminded of ma past...usually ma burfdae n evryone wld be celebrated at ma grndmum hse every yr w/o fail...bt nw...evrytin is different...jz mz the last tym...but those day r gone...

So nw i wanna look ferward...wat i wanna achieve in ma studies...n career especially....

2007-05-13T01:22:00.000+08:00

Damn tired nw!!!! Aargh!!! Jz gt bck from werk...

So notin really interestin bout ma lyf...jz will b lookin ferward in doing ma housekeepin practical in Orchid Country Club tis Mon...dun noe hw it will b...n gosh...hav nt even study fer teory exam tis FRI!!! gonna strt soon...

Ma personal lyf- Well notin interestin...at tis moment....i dun tink i will nt get serious in a relationship...it jz tat it seem nt to b...n tat i wanna concentrate on ma studies...or mayb nt...let jz see hw...dun wanna tink tat nw...

Tinking of which..i hav actually planned to continue ma Advanced Dip in Swiss...so pray fer me guyz...

2007-05-08T18:05:00.000+08:00

So todae gt bck home early...will b leavin soon to tutor ma fwen daughter..

Actually rather excites coz tmr will b performin wit the rest of the GENRE members for the welcomin tea...y im involved??? Actually i jz wanted to coz they r playin all the old favourite songs!!!

Besides tat, i dun noe y tis feelin keep haunting me..somehw rather ma feelin fer her had been wild....since the day when i confessed till nw...i dun noe even whether i had done the ryte things...but i had make up ma mind tat watever happen, im prepared....i jz wanna her to noe hw i felt...tat all...

Fer nw, i jz hope to see the new yr 1 GENRE badge and perform fer them tmr for their WELCOMIN TEA...

2007-05-03T23:32:00.000+08:00

Well todae after sch i head straight to RP to meet ANGUS...if u guyz still wonder whu he is...actually he was my duo partner during the ANNUAL GENVAGANZA CONCERT on last 17th March...it was a success afterall...

So we hav decided to pursue of the song tat we played...Speak Softly Love(formely known as "THE GODFATHER")...well hw??? sorry cant disclosed ryte nw...coz it highly confidential...bt im sure it will be a grt success though i noe tis will b one of our toughest upcomin journey...

Besides tat, i honoured when some of the member actually asked me to join bck on the trainin although im ordy an alumni...still hav nt given ma answer...i dun noe...mayb tat wat i wan....bt im worried fer ma studies..

So let wait n see...

2007-05-02T23:26:00.000+08:00

Well i dun noe y suddenly hav lost interest in blogging...mayb becos it is childish or girlish??? I dun noe...

Bout ma lyf...well i jz dun tink it goin well as wat i plan...in term of studies, finance n ya sometin else...

Actually hav dun noe y i cldnt focus maself on studies...evrytym i try, der wld b a gerl which im interested in...tis tym round..kinda relieve after confessing to her...still i noe it will nt turn well...lyk as usual...tat y i nvr put high hope on relationship...though i admit ma lyf has been topsy-turvy...i will lyk a gerl which dun lyk me n turn down gerl which lyk me...am i stupid or wat....i dun noe...n i dun wish to search...

I jz wanna concentrate on ma studies nw....to get gd mark n earn more money...it jz tat it hard fer me to find a gerl wit the criteria tat i wan...i dun noe...i jz dun wanna tink bout it...

2007-04-29T00:45:00.000+08:00

Jz gt bck from werk...really damn tired todae...haizz...

Bout todae...im really sowie nt to be der fer GENRE HANDOVER CEREMONY DINNER....i really hav to werk guyz...to pay fer ma fees...n i wanna congratulate all the new committee members...i jz hope tat u guyz will make GENRE a success which was once ma drmz...

Still rmb hw i strted to join GENRE n noe all of them...it one of the most beautiful experience...still those day r gone...nw i hav to look ahead wit ma new lyf...

Tokin of which....im kinda of relax after yesterday...exam over n able to hand in project on tym....especially for project...i did them fer 3 dayz straight n even gt a scolding...Y??? Coz i will aslp while doin n did nt even shut down ma laptop...n ma worried fer exam r over...i did studies fer ma exam...but to studies seriously, it only when im on ma wat to sch in bus...damn it very worried!!!

Besides tat, i hav to thnkz Mr Ang fer givin me encouragement...seriously had a gd talk wit him fer bout 90min...bout wat??? let kp it a secret...haha...

So gotta go nw...hav 1 more worry, tat is tmr...dun noe hw the performance wit the kid will turn out....especially on the field...

2007-04-22T23:38:00.001+08:00

Well i dunnoe y tis guity conscience hav been hauting me since yesterday....n i admit it is ma fault...

1st of all im realli sowie towards the rest of the grp member fer nt able to commit in handlin the project...well it nt tat im nt bein committed but it jz tat i cldnt nt get all the information u wanted...n worst of all almost all r wrong....im realli sowie Sarenniya fer gettin u into all tis trouble...i jz dun wanna b a hindrance to u guyz from gettin distinction..but der jz a lot of things tat i gt to see 2 n oso problem which keep comin in everytym...i dun noe when tis cld end....

However it is, i t no choice....n fer the rest of the grp members, jz dun be scared to tell me directly tat i hav nt contributed anytin...im willin to do it alone....lyk wat u said yesterday...once again i apologize...

2007-04-22T23:38:00.000+08:00

2007-04-12T00:06:00.000+08:00

Well dun noe why lately i hav been so tempered...jz nw even scold ma small sister...aargh!!! Wat the hell is goin on wit me....

I guess it must be im pressured by ma studies n oso im short of money...well needing it fer ma fees n oso otehr expenses...sometym i jz feel lyk giving evrytin...im jz so tired...dun neo when tis gonna end...

Still i jz got to noe tis special gerl...becoz of her i regain ma courage to go on...n if u read tis entry, i wanna personally thnkz u fer comfortin me a few days ago...i jz hope tat i can get to noe u better..

Till then, i jz wanna go out n find more money...aargh!!!!

2007-04-06T02:12:00.000+08:00

Hey guyz outta der im bck!!! Wee~ after 2 mnths plus...ahahaha hav been rather bz wit ma schedule n stuff...

So wat new??? Well i hav strted ma study in a new private sch...ASK SCH OF MANAGEMENT studyin in International Hotel Management...do support me guyz...n bout the fees i manage to get a half sponsorship n still nd to pay $400 per mnth...tat y im still werkin at IKEA evry wkend...

So bout ma new cls...they r rather fun though onli pathetically onli bout 5 of us....So there Yong Jie ma grp leader, K, Sarina n Yadana...n tokin bout sch, im quite relieved as todae was ma first modul examination...the results, jz hopin tat it would be fine...

So besides tat wit a gd news tat i hav moved to a new hse, my mum gt pregnant...so it had been onli 2 mnths...nw i guess all ma prayer had been fulfilled...jz cant wait to see ma new cutie...

Amidst of tat, jz feelin sad coz ma mum was admitted to the hospital 3 days ago coz she had overwerk in helpin us carryin stuff when moving hse...jz hopin tat she wld be fine...jz pray fer me....

2007-01-20T14:46:00.000+08:00

Hav nt been updating fer some tym nw...rather bz wit some admin stuff then goin 2 sch...aha...i wont b goin 2 sch again!!!

Dun ask me ...i hav decided 2 take private education...well if nt nw mayb after i completed ma NS...n fer nw....i hav started werkin at IKEA...from 6.30am evryday fer 4 hrs...well at least tis may cover up fer some of ma registration fees to apply fer sponsorship n even loan...

Besides tat hav been focusing on ma upcomin ANNUAL GENRE CONCERT...so gerl n dude outta der...come support us...

Bout ma personal lyf...i hav strted legally as one of the BEYOND SOCIAL SERVICE VOLUNTEER...will b lookin ferward to repay wat they hav done fer me...

Finding maself a gerl rite nw??? Mayb nt...i jz wanna concentrate on ma studies nw....seriously tis tym round...i will prove to u guyz tat i will make it big one day....so wait fer me!!!

2006-12-30T16:05:00.000+08:00

So i guess my hope of gettin serious wit her is nt gonna be true...she hav someone else...well as i hav expected...

So if u happened to be reading tis entry...jz wanna say tat i wish tat u will be happie...bout myself...haha...im still the same zack...so fwen still fwen rite....im sure it wld nt affect our fwenship...

K lah wat i wanna say tat soon i will b strting a new chapter of ma lyf...leaving everytin tat i hav...n jz concentrate on ma studies...n concentrating on ma success...n bout goin serious in relationship....let see along the way...

Still....im relieve noeing everytin is over....n jz wish her to be happie wit her new bofey....

2006-12-27T13:55:00.000+08:00

A sense of relieve as well as worry surrounded me..relieve after confessing hw I felt towards her...worry coz do nt noe wat the outcome will b...

The zack or rather the classic Hairulnizam which u guyz hav known...someone whu rather do not wanna fall in luv n close his heart to almost the gerl becoz of 1 reason(nt gonna rake on the past) hav opened his heart to someone...yes im talking bout myself...

But after confessin, im scared...do nt noe hw she will react...especially when she hav yet given me her answer...fer nw nt gonna reveal tis gerl...a gerl which hav opened my heart to fall in luv again… a gerl which I confessed hav been special to me...whatever it is im postin tis nt reveal bout my personal lyf...I jz need to hav somewhere I can potrayed my heart out...

To u guyz out there…do treasure ur relationship...it jz sometin so beautiful...

2006-12-22T16:57:00.000+08:00

Yesterday supposed to be ma first day of werk but everytin turn awry...damn it!!!

I gt to noe tis gerl in a van which was suppose to bring us to our new workplace...so along the way gotta noe tat her name is Aisyah...at least at tat point of tym I hav found a fwen so tat I wld nt be tat hostile fer myself n after I found out tat there r onli the two of us...

So we chat along the way n I find tat somehw she is a nice gerl...it seem tat we hav known fer long….when we reached the factory at Changi South, as per usual punch card n stuff...the usual classic routine...then line up n do some counting of the manpower...

Then tis guy tat was in-charge strted to apologize to the both of us...y??? coz they ordy hav enuf manpower at the moment...both of s were really surprised n told both our mum bout it n of course the were frustrated...but then we were somehw cool down after Andy promised tat he will get a job at another place fer us...

So ya we took the same transport wit the morning shift worker n suppose to alight at Bedok MRT but we ended up alightin at Tanah Merah MRT...so we decided to walk n to find a place to settle dwn at eat our packet food tat meant fer our dinner brk...

Tat where we chat bout our lives n somehw found out tat Aisyah is a special gerl...a gerl wit so much passion...simply a gerl lyk no other...tis is the first tym tat I salute a gerl personally…of all her sacrifices n hardwork...sori guyz cant reveal bout her lives coz I respect her privacy...

Besides tat when u told me tat u r able to play piano n especially my favourite Hindustan Song...i really wanna learned from u...it jz tat all tis while I tot tat I cld nt find anyone which hav the same taste of music...n in fact able to play my favourite song on one of the instrument which I highly regard n gotta learn soon...onli when I hav tat ability...I realized tat we are aligned in the same perception of music...it jz tat b4 tis I hav told myself tat if there is any gerl tat luv the songs Khusiya Aur Gam is someone special coz tat was my favourite song...n indeed it is her favourite song too n havin to play it on the piano...i told to myself...u r jz so special...ONE IN MILLION...

So jz hopin tat im able to learn tat song soon from u...a song which hav taught me a lot of thingy...a song tat teach me the meaning of lyf…it is oso a song tat hav encourage me to leave RP n goes fer my drmz...tis is a song which mean a lot to me...A SONG OF MY LYF...so Aisyah...u r really SPECIAL...

N to those of u guyz out der pls I need to be frank...she is jz a fwen to me...pls dun tink otherwise...it jz tat she different...n i repect tat...pls dun get the mushi-mushi tot ya...I jz respect the kind of gerl she is...

2006-12-16T20:09:00.000+08:00

Well hav nt been updating ma blog fer sometym...well hey gotta noe ma best fwen actually visit ma blog...thnkz LUQMAN!!!!....

So ya on Thursday I suppose nt involve in the KENDARAT thingy meeting coz I was stayin quite far...bt then since im introducing didi( 1 of ma gd fwen) I hav to bring her…sowie ya didi fer troubling u...but ya can c tat u r able to mixed arnd well...jz feelin relieve...

Then send her back to BEDOK bout 12.30am by then n ya I hav missed the bus n train!!! It a gd thing actually tat didi keep me company at her void deck…we hav a very gd conversation bout many thingy n oso more into our personal lyf n telling her tat I gt a crush on tis particular gerl...it had been goin on fer a while n I dunnoe hw to go bout makin the first approach still nt gonna reveal whu the gerl is fer nw...still thnkz didi fer ur advice...

So ya I went home at bout 8am from BEDOK n then hav some quick nap b4 playin soccer wit most of ma click at BUKIT BATOK...finally head down to Abang Is hse to hav some alteration of shirt n pant fer didi...didnt really stay fer long coz im damn tired...still I was hoping to be able to accompany Kak Lin n Naz to the ICA building n ease their burden...sowie ya fer nt bein der...I noe it been a long day fer u gerl...

So will be lookin forward to werk wit Naz again tis Sunday...YEAH!!!!!

2006-12-13T13:12:00.000+08:00

The date 2nd December 2006 is the date which I will nvr forget in my lyf...nono get tat mushi-mushi tinking out of ur head….it jz tat I cook fer the frst tym fer my family...yeah!!!!

It all strted when my mum told me...”Boy u wanna learn cook rite so ya I wanna u to cook todae”...So my first dish somehw ya a simple one… “SARDINE”

So I followed wat tat I were told...tis was wt I did...

1) Slice the onions...everytin was in a mess coz everytin go out of shape...hahaha...
2) Slice the ginger...well somehow it became lyk a french fries n instead of peeling...i cut it n became half of its size...
3) Cut the chilli or sometin lyk tat...ithe chilli was somehw big n is in green n red color...
4) Then I put oil in the pan n fried tis thingy till there smell n somehow half burned...oops halves cooked I meant...
5) Then I put the sardines from the two cans ...
6) After tat I squash “Asam” in a bowl of water to hav the water concentrated wit tis “Asam” thingy...sori guyz dun really noe hw to translate tat in English...
7) Finally, I add “Ajinomoto” n salt to taste...

Well I noe it very simple but im jz so happie coz it my first tym...tis is my prelude to a better dish.

So comment from my beloved mum: “Well a very good job done jz u hav to add a little more salt...apart from tat it nice...”

Cool a tap back on myself...i did taste my own cookin...ya nice of course after she did add a little more salt...

2006-12-05T15:35:00.000+08:00

Hav been slagging fer many days now w/o attending lesson...y? sori guyz i wont b able to reveal tis nw... Wat i wanna say here is jz to thnkz all my fwen fer helpin me...from W16C to W26M....u guyz rox!!! actually i hav ordy decided on sometin...sometin which regard to my future...I hav decided to take sometin the hard way...well I jz hav to..I cant go on lying n force myself to do sometin which I cant commit to...still I noe it will be very hard fer me...leaving everytin tat I hav...all my gd fwen tat I hav n in fact leaving GENRE which hav been my heart soul…
I still rmb on the day of which i went to watch GENRE practising....i was bedazzled by their ensemble music...nw im part of them...n mayb wont b anymore...Im jz so sori...but I wanna all GenRean tat once I hav kept tis drmz of lifting the name of GENRE...so guyz do fulfil my drmz ya...tat my onli hope when I join GENRE bout 8 mnth ago...

N fer the rest....i jz wanna thnkz fer evrytin.....do appreciate wat u hav....bout the truth...pls bare wit me...i hav no heart to say fer nw or mayb forever.... but im sure tat u guyz got my hint*...

2006-11-27T00:06:00.003+08:00

2 min to midnite....n i jz started blogging...hmm very tired nw lying on the sofa..wat else jz t back from being a wedding helper...

Apart from the norm of carrying plate n stuff...then hav to unbind the curtain on the ceiling tat somehow decorate the void deck...so troublesome hav to stacj bout 6-7 chairs n climb unsrcewing the F-clamp...well tat nt my job actually but im doin tis fer u kak gerl...jz pity her...

Ok let stop my boring entry tis tym...bout my personal lyf...well somehow i hav confessed my feelin towards her...not really confession but a hint...n further than tat...im nt ready...ahaha...

So gotta get back to sch tmr....cya...

2006-11-24T15:51:00.000+08:00

Jz when im down, u r there 2 comfort me….in the midst of our frenship, I take it personally…in the past…. We wld hav a gd conversation bout ourselves n problem tat we had almost every nite…it such a wonderful to share tat affection wit u n it nvr get bored…it fact it keep better each tym…but then u r attached…

So each day I tried to take things lightly n tried to run away from u…from reality…but no I hav decided to msg u as a fwen…not because I lyk u admire as it used to b…im jz worried nt to hear any news from u….then tis morning….jz as I plan to take things lightly….the old feelin came back to haunt me….the msg I received from u is jz too personal for me…..

(^^,),The loveliest day is
Wen u wake Up 2 Find
Tat Love Still
Colors Up World
Thru People Whu
True Care & Never Fail 2 rmb u…..

It may b a normal msg to u…in fact I hav received similar msg ample tym…msg tat hav been forwarded many tym…but im nt sure particularly fer tis one but the crush tat I once had fer u jz made tis msg much special than usual…

Therefore, sometym I owaeyz wonder to myself n hav started thinking n believing to my own principle…Drmz will owaeyz remain as drmz…

So guyz, do treasure wat u hav…

2006-11-13T10:11:00.000+08:00

Have nt been blogging fer a while nw...jz hav to take cre of some important stuff...

Jz feel so damn tired n fell nt comin to sch again...but no i hav promised to myself to kick tat habit from myself regardless of anytin from nw on...

My wkend hav rather been filled wit so many stuff...last Saturday, went to spent my Hari Raya wit my secondary sch mate...got back at arnd 1.30 am..nt only tat...i spent the f***cking $19 on taxi fares...

Then yesterday wasted another $13 for taxi fair coz im late fer werk...aargh!!! nw i hav to spent wisely...bout my werk yesterday, i still felt that exhaustion...werkin as a wedding helper or kendarat...im jz so tired tat my brk i did not spent tym to eat but instead to rest...thnkz ya guyz fer being so understanding n giv me tym to rest...i salute u guyz so much!!!

Then todae, still have to attend to the Children Volunteer program briefing wit some of the volunteer although there no tuition...hav to plan fer some program or rather games fer these grp to prepare them for PSLE nxt yr...pheww im jz so tired...

Still, i noe i hav to hang on n stay focus...i noe i will make it...if nt fer myself...but fer them.....

2006-11-06T23:18:00.000+08:00

Jz got back from my usual routine...teachin tuition todae...but tis tym tound i did not teach tuition coz exam r over...pheww...instead im involve in a meetin....

Rather awkward as it was my first tym....but slowly i tink i can fit in...well discuss bout some of the upcoming problem for a grp of children from the welfare home...im gonna be volunteer for tis programme n gonna find 5 more....u guyz interested? jz approach me ya....

Besides tat,rather been bz tis day handling a lot of staff...studies, guitar n oso the upcoming volunteer programme....then i will start back werking as kendarat again almost every wkend fer month of Nov n Dec coz there will b alot of project...so will b lookin ferward to tat..

Fer nw i need a brk...a short brk i mean...b4 the massive event comin up.....

2006-11-06T13:01:00.000+08:00

Well i hav jz sent an email...it realli took me a lot of courage....finding the rite words...especially when she hav fallen fer me.....but sori..i jz couldn't accept u tat tis point of tym...my mind is jz confused....if u happened to read tis entry, i noe i shld't hav made tis public but i need to let u noe hw much i treasure the normal frenship tat we hav built...still u hav been tat special fwen to me...dun worry i wld not expose what the content of our email...

It jz not so easy fer...especially when i knew tat someone admire me n i do not return the same favour back...it jz hurt...i hav gone throught the same things....

Still i hope tat u wld carry on wit ur lyf n tat we ald remain as wat we r...i wld owaeyz pray tat u wld find a better partner than me....im jz so sorry.....

2006-11-05T23:11:00.000+08:00

Todae hav been ather a 'sian' day fer me...notin much...jz lazing arnd doin notin....not realli tat 'notin'...well i mean did not do anytin so 'extrodinaire' todae except fer playin guitar n most importantly brushing up on my vocal practises on karaoke....

Now i realised tat i hav a lot to learn...especially when nowadays my voice hav not been rather consistent...hmm i guess it becoz of lack of practise...once i intend to find a vocal teacher fer myself....n still i aimed to accomlished tat hopefully before i decide to participate in any singing competition...well hopefully ya...

Besides tat, i wanna thnkz Serra if u read my entry...ur advice yesterday had really helped me in solving my personal prob...i owe u ya...

Till now gtg....dun wanna skip sch again!!!

2006-11-04T22:32:00.000+08:00

Fer the first tym i went jln raye with the 7 dearest...well not solely them but mainly wit their sec sch fwen...i noe it will b awkward but then i dun wanna disappoint them...

Rather feelin awkward mixing arnd wit their fwen at first but slowly ya they treat me well....dun worry lah the 7 dearest keep pestering me to talk to them...i noe wat to do lah...

Actually if any of u the 7 dearest read my entry....ya first of all thnkz ya fer inviting me and introduce me to all ur fwen...yup i hav fun a lot...but then i realli apologize fer nt realli communicate so much...it nt tat i felt awkward but a lot of thung was goin through my mind at tat point of tym..regarding sometin personal...

Well had been thinkin bout the prob since i received ur email....i jz couldn't concentrate on my guitar prac...i dun even care tat i was given THE BEST COMITTEE MEMBER OF THE MONTH OF OCT....but it have no meanin fer me...wat matter is tat i dun wanna brk ur heart n tat i wanna us to continue being fwen...

Bout the email...im sori if U read my blog n i have to publicize tis....im thnkful n appreciate very much fer ur confession in the email....rest assure i won't expose whu u r....but i jz hope u will take slowly...im sure tat u wld find a better person fer me...im jz so sorry....i hav no intention to brk ur heart...i noe hw u feel....but i jz luv to usual fwenship tat we build...so i hope tat fer nw, let remain as wat we r....u will still b my special fwen k.....(^^,)

2006-11-01T11:16:00.001+08:00

Again n again i keep skipping sch...n nw im not at home..jz dun wanna my parents to find out..i noe i should't do tis..but i jz dun noe wat been happening to me in tis few days...i felt tat im searchin fer sometin but i dun even noe wat it is...i noe im missin sometin..but no i tink i hav got everytin..

Actually, im jz confused...i hav a feelin of guilt fer skipping to sch...i hav oso feelin tat sometin tat is missin n nw searchin wat tat is...fer nw i noe i will nvr noe wat im searchin fer...

N bout skippin sch...my reason is simple...i jz dun noe wat im goin to sch fer...the day i spent in sch is only to be there...not realli to study...but i noe i hav to change..but nt nw...when my heart is still not there....

2006-11-01T11:16:00.000+08:00

2006-10-31T12:37:00.000+08:00

Rite nw still in class...NONO!!!! im not bz...instead relaxing...WOOHOO!!! Being the judge rather is not easy but compare to other team, we r more relaxed...well gonna sabo other team...mayb...will b askin them to sing...hehehe...

Besides tat im thnkz ful tat i hav direct my attention back to my studies...jz dun noe y but tat special encouragement from myself hav given me a new drive...well tat encouragement came from my own attitude of wanting to prove myself tat i can do it...not from anyone special...not from any special gerl(if u hav been thinking)...well i guess it jz tat i hav settles down and noe where i am goin...being more relaxed, i see thing in a wider perspectives...

Yesterday, when i see the children in the welfare home studyin so hard, i felt tat im fortunate...to be in tis state..at least fer nw...mayb tat another reason fer me wanting to continue fer my studies...

Still, im still being bothered of those wild dreamz of becoming a recording artiste...yes it a wild drmz...but it jz so important to me..i noe i hav what it take...tis will b the turning point of my lyf....

2006-10-29T01:10:00.000+08:00

Well jz got back from celebratin Hari Raya...jz a the usual visiting relatives n frenz....so hw much i got??? i dun even care...rather a big boy nw...hahaha...

Jz dun noe y dun even feel of doin anytin these few days...i even skip sch on Fri jz to relax n importantly to play guitar...but i dun really did tat...sorry Huda n the rest of my team members coz u guyz hav to struggle without me..well is it???

Not onli tat, i even skip my guitar prac fer the first tym on fri...i jz dun noe wat hav got into me...purposely skippin all the important stuff....AARGH!!!...it jz tat i dun feel anytin rite nw...any encouragement to go to sch...i jz wanna quit sch n explore the world...achievin n finding my true self...where music is concern, i noe my passion will be bring me somewhere which i can b proud of someday...but fer nw, i noe i must find tat encouragement to carry on studyin..not fer myself but fer both my parents..i jz pity them fer werkin day n nite..i noe tat they will be proud of me if i can at least get a diploma...if nt fer them, i wld hav quit sch nw...

Bout my personal lyf, well notin...still happie being a single happie-go-lucky type....havin the freedom to do anytin i want..but i felt tat it tym i find tat special want..someone whu can share my feelin n drmz...tat special someone tat will witness hw i will succeed in achieving my drmz one day....i noe tat tym will come....

2006-10-25T10:44:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was the first day fo Hari Raya Aidilfitri...Tis tym round...Hari Raya fer me is sometin which i look ferward to seek forgiveness...no more tat childish wanna be jz lookin ferward to Hongbao...hehehe...well actually i did but not so much...

Well as per normal went to Jamek Mosque to proformed the Hari Raya prayer...then proceed to my grandparent house...i got to meet some of my stepfather relatives fer the first tym...rather awkward n couldnt adjust so fast...still a gd experienced noeing all my new relatives...

Amidst the journey to my mum grandparent sides, unfortunately it rain all of a sudden..since my dad drove a 14 feet lorry wit no shelter at the back,me n my bro was damn drenched...

So we have decided that my dad send my mum n sis to my grandparent house while we being owaeyz the unfortunate one waiting at the bus stop..tat not the case...it jz tat i pity my dad havin to make 2 trips jz fer us...THNKZ DAD!!!

We make it to bout 5 house yesterday decided not to visit the last trip to Tampines as it getting late...so todae we will be visitin again but most probably i will not b goin...gotta highlight my hair todae...then find a present for my beloved brother...HAPPIE BDAE DINO!!!

2006-10-22T12:34:00.000+08:00

Well havin a boring wkend...aargh!!! esp when come to doing spring cleaning yesterday...cleaning the fan n stuff...

Still will b lookin ferward for Hari Raya n seeing all the realative....y the hell im given onli 1 day of brk...stupid sch!!!so unfair!!!

Bout my lyf...well rather consistent at tis point of tym...evrytin goes as per normal....sch n guitar...guitar n sch...but actually at the same tym im havin tis crush on tis particular erl....jz got to noe tat she is from Percussion Ensemble IG best of all studyin jz opposite my class...wee!!!well sometym got to see her during practice...so cute!!! look lyk i hav to be brave tis tym round...jz dun noe hw the first approach gonna be lyk...let tym decide...

So tat all gonna be from me..will b lookin ferward for Hari Raya Aidilfitri n esp noeing tat special gerl...

2006-10-18T15:08:00.000+08:00

Still in class nw waitin fer the boring science lesson to end...well today topic is rather tedious....bout light n stuff lyk tat...jz feelin guilty to the rest of the team member coz i noe hav not been helpin much coz i dun understand!!!...aargh!!! sorry guyz....:(

So will be havin guitar prac ltr on..so Luqman sori ya fer turning ur offer of breaking fast together...rest assure i will make up some other tym...

Apart from that, finally i am able to get the song that i want...well won't be explaining further wat the song is...u guyz will sure laugh at me...so hint: it a luv song....

2006-10-16T12:16:00.000+08:00

In class rite nw...struggling wit the stupid art stuff...can't they at least talkbout music???aargh!!!...enduring tis stupid flu for two days now...

Jz feel lyk stepping my le n et out of here if not for my grades....still need to teach tuition ltr at 7pm as usual every week....aargh!!! jz need a brk...but it ok coz their exams r drawing near...so dun let us down...

Besides tat been slpin fer 1 hr yesterday after my pre-dawn meal....well finally got to talk to di after 3 weeks...well thnkz fer the gd conversation yesterday n will b lookin to hav a gd conversation tonite ya...at least 3 hrs will do....jz hav been missin u lately...n again...i hav to control...she attached!!!!

So currently hav been learning new songs fer GENRE upcoming concert in January most probably at the Victoria Theatre...fer the first tym, i will be playin bass!!!cool...oso hav jz completed the "Speak Softly Love" scores....well a popular piece from "The Godfather" themes...havin tat grt feelin bein able to play tat...still, in exploring another popular piece from "Romeo n Juliet", "Love Story....so rest assure will b practicing.....

2006-10-13T09:17:00.000+08:00

Well my facilitator still not here yet at it ordy 9am....haizz....well actually tis is wat i hav been waitin fer...

So rite nw doin notin...jz listening to piano music n hopin to play one of these beautiful pieces one day...especially pieces from Richard Clayderman such as Ballade Pour Adeline n Comme Amour...it jz so beautiful....

Besides tat,OMG Hari Raya is jz bout 2 weeks tym!!!!...cool...well been planning to hightlight my hair n to make a new tinted specs....my preference, green or orange...so will be lookin ferward to Hari Raya....

2006-10-09T23:17:00.000+08:00

Jz feelin tired nw...reach home rather late at 9.30pm as usual....well hav to teach tuition at the welfare home....pheww...look lyk gonna werk extra hard coz their exams are comin in a month or so....so all the best guyz!!!

Tmr will b havin Entreprise lesson...so im hopeful to b a bit relax coz i will b wit Brian tmr.....hehehe...he's gonna kill me fer tis....

Besides tat will b lookin ferward fer Wed guitar prac....hav been restin fer a week now after the Charity Concert....so yeah gonna learn new song!!!!

So guyz....i guess im hearin my bed callin me....cya!!!

2006-10-08T22:47:00.000+08:00

Im so damn bored at home.....doin futile thingy fer ma weekend...i wanna werk ....i wanna money...to but all those new stuff...hp especially...can anyone recommend me a job????but not F&B can??? aargh!!!!

Jz dun wanna depend so much on my mum or rather whom i called MAMA(mother in malay)...it jz embarassing....well i jz luv her so much!!!! fer all ur sacrifices n stuff...jz can't say in person....so embarassing!!!

Still im serious of achieving my drmz of becomin a recording artiste...im doin tis fer u MAMA....i wanna u to hav a gd lyf one day...so do support me ya...i noe i will b der someday....so guyz pray fer me one day....tis hav been my only drmz besides finding an ideal gerl fer myself....hehehe...i noe i hav been jokin wit u bout tis....still...i hav made tis promise to myself n im serious....so do checkout ANUGERAH in a few yrs tym...i noe i will b der....well hopefully....

Thnkz fer evrytin MAMA.....i luv u so much....

2006-10-07T00:43:00.000+08:00

Todae i skip sch....aargh!!! tis is my second FUCKING TYM!!!!

Still got to sch by 5pm to attend GENRE committee meeting...well tis tym round hav to plan the nxt Annual GENRE CONCERT!!! so fer all u guyz out there...open invitation to all...so do catch us out at Victoria Theatre...

Besides tat, had been rather lonely again....damn it gettin emkotional again...jz can't it....i miss u di!!!well fer the tym being i jz can say tat tis special gerl is di....still again u r taken...so im lost...i noe u onli treat me as normal frenz of urs...but fer me...i sense a mutual feelin....

I dunnoe...tym will decide....

2006-10-05T15:30:00.000+08:00

Specially for Orange.....

Wee im so happie after yesterday....we celebrate Orange BDAE!!!!Happy bdae Orange!!!

After sch,straight away took Orange from her class....OMG i hav to act has a boyfwen in front of her fwen...i gonna be dead if her fwen found out....then meet the rest at Agora n meet the syila,heira,angus,fairuz n serra...

So we head straight to pool factor at Bukit Timah to celebrate Orange bdae n break our fast at Al-Ameen...

The best part was when everyone sang Happy Bdae Song for Orange at the coffeeshop...n fer Orange....she was damn blushed....so these r jz some of the snapshots from yesterday.....

Well galz there no need to take that shot.....

Orange watchout fer ur head.....

Orange u look pro aren't u?

Aren't they a couple......so shweet..... Bdae gerl n me.......

The 4 beauties.....where Serra? Orange n ice-kacang...yumyum!!! Glad to noe u lyk the card.....thnkz u!!!!

2006-10-04T12:30:00.000+08:00

Well still in class now....haizz....so boring hav to do science...rather late todae still not a surprise coz it my routine...

But todae as i try to forget her i jz couldn't.....i tot i hav all my past behind...but tis morning when i saw someone whom once i admire....i jz hope tat i hav got her...she jz so pretty n sweet....most importantly she the same person whom i noe in the past...she jz herself....

Besides that, been feelin rather guilty fer not tokin to tis special fwen of mine...im jz so tired...i noe i shld not hav jz ignore her....she is jz someone tat fill the emptiness in my heart...so rest assured i promised to myself to hav a gd conversation wit u tonite.....especially when u told me through voice mxg tat u miss me very much...im jz hopeful tat it a hint.....

2006-10-01T20:39:00.000+08:00

Well todae is Children Day yay!!!!

Obviously im not the one celebrating but i got to share tat joy wit children's from the children home....tat what we hav been werkin so hard from the concert....n we manage to collect 2k....yay!!!so half of it was given to the children society....

Actually, we hav plan some game for them but as soon as we got into the room, hey were running around n playin catchin....so all our plan was not used n instead we played catching wit them...kinda fun..

In the midst of the fun, i felt so sad for them for havin to stay there....yes i agree tat the home provide a good shelter n education but they jz dun hav a proper family n received the luv tat they suppose to tat tat kind of young age...

Btw i felt touch when one of them gave me his yellow band...i felt tat i hav succeed in providing him tat short term luv....oso one of them even drew my face...im jz so touched by them....

Tis is the yellow band tat i will keep as memories....

One of them even drew me.....

Although their contribution maybe small but it bring a lot of meaning to them....as i try to understd them better, i felt lyk stayin wit them fer the rest of my lyf.....still, it made me realised tat i am lucky fer wat i am now.....n fer them rest assured i will help in anyway i can........

2006-09-30T01:02:00.000+08:00

Rite nw, im jz so happie....yay!!! the Charity Concert actually goes very well....furthermore, we had collected bout 2k...

Most importantly, i had fulfilled my dream even b4 i join the club. Before i was a member, i had watch GENRE practising. At that point of tym, my dream was jz to be ble to play lyk them...in fact i guess i have made it!!!

So bout the performance, i shld say tat we had done quite well.....so nw i can rest easy for awhile....at least for a week coz we will not hav trainin nxt week....phewww.....well after tat we will hav to rush to learn new songs for our annual yr concert tat will be held in January...so guyz, support us!!!

2006-09-28T10:02:00.000+08:00

Well rite nw im in class relaxing after the first brkout...well kinda relax todae discussing bout NBA rather than studying bout computing....it not tat i hate computing it jz tat im not gd at it....

So actually was planning to update on my guitar club blog yesterday but then too tired after went back for guitar prac....aargh!!! fer the first tym i leave sch at 10pm fer guitar prac....didnt even eat to brk my fast....wat more didnt even slp for sch yesterday....aargh!!!!

Im hopeful to be at my best for tmr guitar charity concert...most probably my parents wld b comin to watch us perform....yay!!!! so guyz out there come support us...well it fer charity sake!!!

Actually rather worried becuz yesterday prac didn't turned out well fer me especially when i couldn't play during the dry run....n i will b seating at the front row of the lecture theatre stage....so hav to giv my best for tmr....

So will b lookin forward to todae prac n rest assured i will practise hard fer the club... n oso i hope tat i will b able to persuade tat special someone to come n watch me perform.....

2006-09-25T00:05:00.000+08:00

So todae mark the first day of the fasting month....well i manage to fast as usual....actually it not hard either for a guy of my age...

Rite nw jz dun feel lyk slpin....a lot of thingy is goin through my mind...first of all worried tat im not gonna wake up for my pre-dawn meal....well it not a big deal...wat im worried most is my IG upcoming performance at RP....i know tat i shld not screw up during the performance coz ppl pay fer it n especially it's held in the sch...

So tmr it will b the first tym tat we will b practising in the lecture theatre....im hopeful to get used to the surrounding b4 the actual performance...wat more, i will be seating at the front row!!! Tat y i dun wanna make a fool of myself....

Besides tat, hav not been hearing news bout one of the gerl tat i hav a crush on...i noe tat she's taken but she's jz special towards me...i noe tat i shld not blurt out anytin...i jz noe tat it one-sided...

So wat imprt nw is for me to focus especially on my studies....been quite lucky to hav a gd new classmates...hopefully tis relationship will continue....

2006-09-24T00:46:00.000+08:00

Well hav been rather wit my guitar club blog...tat y my own blog hav been rather vacant....so i back well wit notin much realli...

Hmm...wat else if not been practising guitar even during the semester holi..it a gd thing tat the performance at the Far East Plaza oes well....actually not realli coz i played the wrong notes....muahahaha...it jz my luck tat i sat at the third row n didn't play loud enough....pheww...

So tis comin fri on the 29th of Sept,will be havin another charity concert...so if u guyz interested jz tell me...bout the ticket it jz $6...well no big deal...

Besides tat, i hav known my new classmates n hav been goin well...so im hopeful tatthe next 1 semester will b a fruitful ones...but unfortunately,IM THE ONLY MALAY GUY!!!!

So tat all guyz for the updates...hav to get sufficient slp fer tmr first day of fasting....

2006-09-11T06:29:00.000+08:00

Tis tyme...i jz wanna talk deep...thingy tat hav been botherin me fer sometym...i hav been keeping this to myself fer several days...

I hav known tis gerl...well so far we jz hav a chat over the phone...hmm...im first jz attrated to her voice...so Shweet!!! well im hoping to meet her one day...i jz cant hide my feelin anymore...OMG!!! Dun tell me i have fallen fer her!!! but wat wrong if it true...it jz tat i can sense tat she is someone whu can undstd me very well...The way we hav our conversation...it as if we hav known fer long...

Still im in doubt....does she feel the same way of what i feel towards her???well my hope was tat we share tat mutual feelin towards each other...from what i can see....FAT hope fer me...or is it???

What ever it is i hope tat i can take things slowly....i jz dun wanna rush...i jz hate being disappointed....it really hurt...it happened to me many tym n i dun wanna those things to happen again...but hw can i assure tat she hav feelin fer me...by askin her???She hav her self-respect....so till now i guess no one noes...

Myself...i kept askin tis question....is it luv or infatuation???i cant answer tis question myself coz i dun even noe wat to say...But wat i shld do nw is actually to strt the first move..but hw??i hav no courage n instead hoping her to strt tat move....BUT NO!!!! It her virtues...

So afterall, i jz leave it to fate...wat the point of tinking w/o able to do anytin...but wat im
sure is tat i dun wanna lose her although as a fwen....watever it take...i will be there for her.....

2006-09-11T00:36:00.000+08:00

Hi guyz...

Well i hav deleted my previous blog fer some reason... still tag ya my new blog!!!